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First, an update because you may follow The Illyvich Apartment Saga. It continues here. (Hey, I should write that, ha!) It’s definitely been some time and what a fucking ride it’s been! By that I mean, did ya’ll see my FB post the other day about the fucking FIRE in this complex? No? Oh, let me share a pic of the third building in this complex to burn down in five years. First, it was the building literally 100 feet from mine, if even THAT far, that caught. Remember that? I came home from the cigar club and flames engulfed the entire fucking thing.

That was fun. There was another building, literally in front of the one I currently live in that caught 7 months to the DAY of that first fire. Oh, and someone said shit caught fire in 2015. GFY.

That’s The Villages at Kensington, Kensington Villages formerly known as Oak Tree Villas. I met the owner the other day and was told that they’re renovating this complex and it’s going to be a big job. Like, no shit? You inherited a shit show. Trust me, I’ve been around. The curious person/writer person in me has been through most of these buildings and seen just how much of a shit show actually exists. It’s astounding that someone can let something go on so horribly for so long doing nothing.

That isn’t how you make money.

Again, fuck the new WordPress editor.

Then, we ended up receiving a notice stating our lease was month to month and would either need to be renewed by May 1st/April 30th for a year at the new rent of $1,254 (no, fuck you) or go month to month at $1,454. Also, big fuck you. The new owner told me they were repairing, construction was commencing, and things would be better. Honestly? I’d love to believe them. The last owners were moving and grooving and then the covid shit hit, halting construction. I get that for a time, people needed to isolate, but after enough time had passed and we realized we needed to get back to work? I’m not even talking about six months AFTER. Fuck, take a fucking year if you need, but shit. Get back to work.

The scary thing was, I only have photos of the aftermath. I heard that someone slept through the first two hours of a two alarm fire and ended up stranded on their balcony. Or that the forest behind the fucking building caught. Or that a fire truck caught fire too. (How the fuck does that happen?) My Crone suggested electrical issues, then suggested if one building has them, they probably ALL have them.

But now? I’ve lost faith in rehabbing property unless it’s something I’m in charge of. So, we’re expediting our search for a new apartment to house us and the two kitties. I promised Ember and Kel we’d have a wonderful home for them.

You know what’s NOT bullshit though? This re-release from Decadent Publishing. You remember I had a handful of short stories that weren’t really suitable for me to spend all that time on doing the self-publishing work myself, nor spending the money on cover art. Instead, I submitted them to Decadent Publishing because they’d not only get a suitable home, but keep me engaged in publishing.I’m proud to announce that Paula’s Craving, the rewrite of my very first romance novel is available for preorder on Amazon right now! It will be released on March 17th!

Adversity brought them together, insecurity tore them apart. Can passion reunite Paula and Ryan, or will they both end up devastated?

With parents who preferred the needle to their only son, Ryan didn’t stand a chance to graduate high school. Until he met Paula and their friendship gave him the strength to fight. Their talk of the future together gave him hope until she left for college. Ryan did the only thing he knew how; he disappeared, unaware of his impact on Paula.

Fifteen years later, Ryan is at the top of his game as a developer in Real Estate. A chance encounter reunites him with Paula, but their one night of passion can only be that; one night. He’s damaged goods, and he knows it.

When Paula wakes up alone the morning after an amazing night with her former high school sweetheart, she vows to find him and demand to know why he left after sharing such incredible passion.

When Paula finally tracks Ryan down, she dares him to prove to her just how imperfect they are. Will giving his entire heart to her free him from the demons in his past, or will he break both of their hearts?

Chapter One

Paula wrapped her legs around Ryan’s hips, enjoying the friction of him pistoning inside her. His body blanketed hers. When he dipped his head down to claim her mouth, she tasted whiskey, smelled the heady, masculine scent mixed with the aroma of their lovemaking.

Trailing kisses down her chin, Ryan nibbled over her flesh, making each nerve stand and beg for his attention.

She tightened her thighs, gripped his broad shoulders, and let him fill her to the brim repeatedly while he caressed her breast.

He pinched and drew the nipple into his mouth, forcing a moan from her.

She arched upward, loving the slick action of his lips and the flick of his tongue over her nipple.

He caressed her hips, glided in and out, rocking against her so he hit her clit just the right way.

Tightness swelled in her belly; every bit of her burned for him. She tangled fingers in his long blond hair and tried to bring his mouth to hers.

He murmured something against her then licked a trail of heat up her chest, her collarbone, before finally stopping at her ear.

“Baby, I’m so glad.” Her chest heaved with each word. “Finally!”

Ryan stopped mid thrust, stiffened against her, and jerked his head up.

“What?” She opened her eyes and met his gaze, finding the fierceness and some other emotion in the depths of his admiral-blue irises.

The mask returned to his face, and Ryan started moving rhythmically.

Paula’s breath hitched, and she dug her nails into his arms. Moving her hands jerkily down until she reached his waist, she clenched onto him, urging him to thrust harder.

“So close.” She threw her head back, eyes focused on his. “So close. Come with me, Ryan. Come with me!”

He took advantage of her open mouth and captured her lips, thrusting his tongue at the same speed as his cock.

Every movement seemed to be for her. Hell, even after all this time apart, she swore they fit together perfectly.

She clawed at him, urging him toward release while each thrust opened her heart more to the man she knew was meant for her.

He impaled her once more, sending her over the edge.

Paula stiffened, moaning his name while caressing Ryan’s large frame. “Come, baby!”

He did, his release jetting deep inside.

She squeezed him harder, digging her heels into his ass while she ran her fingers through his thick, blond hair and stroked him.

He settled down, heart thundering against her chest when he relaxed into her. His eyelashes fluttered against her skin, tickling her.

A few minutes passed. Paula shifted Ryan off of her, tugged off the used condom, and discarded it. Someday, she’d like to feel him explode inside her.

Padding over to the bathroom, she grabbed a washcloth, cleaned herself off, and sauntered back to the bed in her Vegas hotel room. Looking at Ryan’s muscular body made her heart flutter. The fall of his hair over his face softened his features.

It had been fifteen years since they’d seen each other, but she’d never forgotten the man who stole her heart in high school. She’d seen through his enigmatic, morose personality when they’d first started talking.

He’d been real with her, something the rest of the world hadn’t been at the time.

Paula crawled back into bed beside him, and he clutched her possessively. His legs entwined with hers and he pressed his body against her, wrapping himself around her.

A smile crossed her lips as she closed her eyes and let the sound of his even breathing send her into dreamland.


The next morning, Paula woke up to an empty space beside her. No note, no remnants that he’d even been there, nothing.

Ryan had disappeared.


She clenched her teeth and bit back tears at the thought that he’d give her an incredible time then have no problem leaving without so much as a kiss goodbye.

That didn’t seem like the Ryan she’d known from high school. Well, on the one hand, he seemed like his old self, but the other bit? Him leaving after he’d bared his soul to her?

Words weren’t said, but his touches spoke volumes to her heart more than anything.

Running into him at a fundraising event her company had provided wine for had made her heart skip a beat. After all this time, he’d grown into a very handsome man. His long hair, formerly shaggy and in his face, had been pulled back loosely; her fingers itched to stroke it and feel it over her body. He’d traded in his grunge/metal clothing for tailored suits he’d filled out quite nicely.

When she’d approached him, he turned, offering her the same smile he’d given her in high school. Her heart continued to pound against her chest until she forced herself to calm down.

The look in his eyes revealed just how much he’d missed her, too. Yes, those bright-blue eyes sparkled like diamonds. For the event Ryan had to put on a show as a major donor so he was smiles and waves for the camera. She didn’t miss the sadness, though, or the longing.

It made her wonder why he continued to run from the very people who loved him.

They’d talked. Or rather, he’d talked. Said things in a new voice.

It looked like he’d found some semblance of confidence.

The deep timbre of his voice had made her mouth dry and liquid pool between her thighs.

When the band struck up a tune she liked, he’d automatically taken her hand and asked for a dance.

She couldn’t refuse. In fact, spending so much time so close to him only made her feel like he’d held her soul, not just her body or libido.

By the way he moved, she assumed he had to feel it, too.

When he dipped his head to kiss her, the reaction of his body to hers confirmed her thoughts. His kiss penetrated her essence, marking her as his. Even with the softness of his mouth on hers, that male possessiveness came through, soaking her panties.

Then he asked if she wanted to leave.

Paula could only nod.

After a magnificent three-day romp, she swore they’d reconnected, but as he’d done before, he left.

Paula sat up and wiped away tears she couldn’t stop and steadied her resolve. After fifteen years of lost time, they’d finally reunited, and her heart felt the happiest it had in forever. “You’re not getting away from me, Ryan.”

Preorder for a March 17th delivery on Amazon

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