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Good news, and better news! On May 5th, I had ablation surgery to correct my Afib – atrial fibrillation. That murmur/ irregular heartbeat has been causing me all manner of issues for the last 22 years. I had no idea just how bad it was until the weekend after the surgery and I woke up having energy.

Like, full the fuck on, I’m ready to tackle the fucking day and if you get in my way I will end you, energy. I didn’t realize it had ties to my mental state, either. The short version of what they do is they run a catheter through my femoral vein all the way to the top of my heart (as was explained to me) and then burn/freeze arteries they feel are the ones misfiring/causing the problem. Then, the heart is forced to re-route the electrical impulses to arteries that don’t skip or misfire.I woke up out of surgery with a shit ton of blood around my groin, major bruising, and wondered where the party was…and the nurse attending me told me it was me, I was the party, I was like…cool. Can I go home now?

Nope. Four hours of flat on my back. Younger girlfriend had my iPhone but because of nerves, I spent a lot of my battery pre-surgery trying to trade corn or soybeans or something. I mean shit, this is heart surgery…I see the electrophysiologist nurse assistant on the 3rd (so in two days) and hopefully, I can get the all-clear to start lifting kettlebells again and doing basic home maintenance shit like taking out the fucking trash. I did a pre-emptive strike on this surgery though. I put back into my diet Vitamin C, D, Zinc, Calcium, D, and N-Acetyl Cysteine to ramp up my body’s healing abilities. Oh, and I’ve resumed drinking my bulletproof coffee in the mornings.

Oh, and hopefully they’ll also take me off ALL my heart meds. The EV put me on eliquis for a month. I hate it. I had my first drink since May 2nd, on the 19th at the ATL Cigar event and HALF a damn Sour/Saison made me a little tipsy. Plus, bruising I can’t explain because of the fucking blood thinner.

I’m back though. The week after surgery, I hit the ground running, pulling up Scrivener to tear apart the plot of Riding Myst, the second novel in the Undead Souls MC series. I wanted to make sure the plot is as good as possible, or tighten it up so it is a better book. I wrote it almost two years ago and for the last two years, I’ve been drifting in and out of “fuck you, life.” Some of you may remember when I threatened back in2018 to quit writing. I’ll tell you what that was. Disappointment with my performance, disappointment in my ability to earn, and lackluster sales. That was a GREAT part of why I pondered it. 2019 was the first year I didn’t receive a SINGLE royalty check from anyone, including, I’m pretty sure, the few pennies I still get from Totally Bound. It’s disheartening, to say the least.

Fast forward past all the shit to March of 2021 and my cardiologist suggests the ablation surgery. I don’t know if it was somehow my Crone’s pushing, or I’m just tired of the pills and lack of energy, or what. It could be a combination of factors, but I said “fuck it. Let’s do this shit.”In the middle of breaking down scene by scene, “Riding Myst,” I received an acceptance letter from the folks at Decadent Publishing. Paula’s Craving, the re-work of the very first romance novel 16-year-old me wrote is getting a new home. There may be more involved with Decadent because I did send them something like 9 titles but we’ll see! Then, last week I picked up Addicted to You (Remix) again and managed to solidify Adrian’s character traits.

In the meantime, I’ve been reading a fuck ton of romance novels. Mostly Cynthia Eden’s Wilde Ways series, but I finished the Circle Trilogy from Queen Nora (Roberts!) and picked up the Sign of Seven series. I’ve gone through some cowboy stuff from Em Petrova, a little love for Louisa Bacio and a handful of other authors. That’s how I’m refilling the well. The goal is 50 books by end of July, 2021. I’m a little under halfway there. Spending time at the shop when it’s not busy gives me plenty of time to read.

I need to make time in my schedule to write daily. That’s happening. I need to make time to continue studying Spanish, pick up Russian, and refresh my IT skills so I can go back into that hellhole for my allotted time. Honestly, I cannot tell you how fucking incredible it feels to have all this free energy and NOT be exhausted until the end of my day, around 2:30/3 AM. The heat isn’t bothering me, though it hasn’t been so bad yet to be fair. Maybe we get a mild summer.

This is my new normal.

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