The Exhaustion but not so, post! (Long-form)

I’m exhausted. But it’s a good exhausted. I’m not running around exhausted…those who have been Following pick Up the lyric. Been a long, but produCtive week. TalKed to the older lover and I feel so much closer in that relationship. All is well, especially with what I plan for publishing. Nothing new this year, but I have a plan. I have quite the dilemma coming up re: money. For once, I actually have it and can start to save. That’s due in part to a Temporary sHift in financial rEsponsibilities, but the issue is the whole supplemental social security, pandemic/unemployment plus I trade and I made money – wtf with taxes now? Though so far I’m down money on the year, thank you fucking BlackGoddamnBerry. What the fuck you even DO anymore?

But I’m making it back slowly in LitecoiN because of 24×7 trading. A qualified accountant will come my way. I’m certain. If not, I’ll figure it out and run game like I always do because I always win. I’m ahEad in my reading goal by a book. I promised Louisa Bacio I’d read a book of hers and I finally got around to it (sorry hon) but I’ve also kept up with The Daily Stoic. If my best friend ever gets back to me, I have a poWerful book gift for her too.

I resumed kettlebell swings today. God DAMN, that shit Wore me out. But I’m listening to Vishen and changing my identity. The older lover is grOwing into such a beautiful woman. The youngeR lover is taking her power back.

How can you Defeat that?

You can’t.

I’m the luckiest man in the entire universe.

I won’t release anything new this year. That’s the big thing for me. If you’ve been following my career for any length of time since I started, you know I had routine releases every few months for most of two decades. Cover art aPpRoval, Edits (usually three or four rounds), and then newsletters, updating this site when I Started it? And then twitter (before I got banned. Twice, ha!) and Facebook, along with Setting up blog tours, interviews…all while trying to maintain a clean house and fed relationship.


My writing has bEen in such a state since before L’Don dIed that, I questioned everything. Now? I have an end goal. I’m pushing for VocaTional Rehab to help me gO back into information technology – the thing I did before I decided to become a professionally published authoR. I made money from day one but the last few years?

Yeah, the game has changed. I understand it now. I need to do this, go back to IT. Work that 40 hour week, stack them bills. Keep expenses low, indulge occasionally, but stack them bills. It’s a temporary position because I want my freedom and you deserve me having said freedom to publish the books I promised you, because once I bought the lie but now I sell the truth. Hope. A two-year stint in IT will give me that. The point is, I have a plan. Everyone will win because that’s the Wolf Move.

Right now? Back office work to ready releases for next year. I’m developing a team – editor, cover artist. I’m deciding if I need to get back to being relevant on social media so when the plates drop, they drop like it’s hot. Oven-baked lime and panko-crusted chicken in the oven, Chinese greens readied, I did the mise-en-place beforehand so I could write this post and sell you my truth. Now? Sip this glass of Vinho Verde with the Younger beautiful Lover and wait until the chicken is done and crispy. Tomorrow? Reflect, and get busy because I’ve got shit to do.

How you doin, boo?

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Wrists, bASS and Writing!

Yesterday’s adventures with doctors…

Yes, I can slapp the bASS very well, though I tend to play more progressive metal!

For the last 20 years, my wrists and sometimes feet, have gone numb when I lie down on my back for a cat nap. In the last few years, it’s been my hands at night on too many occasions. My last neurologist appointment was in 2012 and she told me at best, carpal tunnel on the bilateral. She’d said at best without surgery, to take B6. So, when I’d have this problem, I realized it was a b6 issue and I’d wake up, pop a pill or two and go back to sleep.


At the time, basic bitch vitamins (Kroger brand) were what I took and they worked, but not all vitamins are created equal. What really throws me is the way I eat should make this irrelevant. Ever since Lovers have done Wildfit, and even before that, I’ve eaten clean, gotten plenty of veg (I know some of you read it differently heh heh heh.) I started experimenting with different dark leafy greens, adding the aklagizer in my system daily and still, this problem persists.

The new neurologist basically confirmed yup. bilateral carpal tunnel and is having me do a blood lab for B12. Getting stuck in that muscle by the thumb fucking HURT! As if the nerve conductor test wasn’t bad enough.

And I’d like to finish this novel by end of the year at least since Nov expiration is this Friday and even I can’t write 60,000 words in what? Three days? I tried years ago LOL!

I need to text a friend of mine, that bASS in the pic above? It’s in California and I want it back.

Oh, and I get wrist braces – hopefully MedicAID will cover those. I have a prescription even!

And writer plans have been made for 2021. I spent a lot of time with my older Beauty talking this over for next year. Her reminders helped a LOT. I have a LOT I can release and a LOT I need to do for the next year so I definitely need my head back in the game, unlike the last two years. I MISS running that hard. And I will not go down quietly.

Writer plans include the following:

I have the Undead Souls books – 2 and 3 need editors and cover art.
Hot Knight needs an editor and cover art – for L’Don.

Permission for Pleasure needs an editor and cover art and a beta for the BDSM. For L’Don. Both her books turned out to be romantic suspense, and they’re kinkier than I”ve written in a few years ;).

Plus, I need to email Tastyworks (The Bat and Sosnoff most likely) for a better investor plot that can be thwarted in the Options world. Not quite the Options trader book I planned but…

I need to finish Crossing the Rubicon, then it and Stalker need editors, and I need to write the third book in that series.

I need to rattle cages at RWA for teaching more next year.

I need to create the books for my BDSM class and Male POV class.

Blurbs for Opeth Pack need updating and I need to add them to categories on Amazon.
Fuck it, I need all my short stories back from Wolfpack and two of the shorts may be lengthened. PNR vampire with some BDSM in the first short. You’re welcome, Kathy!

The Mafia/Illuminati Para-Rom needs a complete rewrite and I need two serious beta readers for the two books written and then to plot out the last four.

My FMA/Boardwalk Empire novel needs to be written.

Saint in Sinner’s Eyes – A spy protecting shapeshifters. A rogue operative targeting a high profile crime boss. When worlds collide, will either escape with their life in tact?

Oh, and I need to ask Maya what she thinks about A Christmas Favor – because I need to cover that ASAP and get it out for the rush…


What are you running head first into?


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Upcoming Interview

I was interviewed for a podcast (air date TBA) a few days ago by an author who has less time in the industry (far as I know) than I do, and some of the questions she’d asked were awesome because I was able to take a trip down memory lane.How many of you know that Sizzler Editions actually launched BEFORE Ellora’s Cave? Or that E-books didn’t come from AMZN, B&N online etc?

It was a cool thing to recall what got me started, what kept me motivated during the early days of romance publishing. Of course, I got asked about an author we have feelings about, regarding her portrayal of BDSM, and being able to mention a few of the classic authors on the podcast. It allowed me to bring up a few references to authors I used to edit and credit them with what I’d hoped were budding careers.But this was really about me LOL!

We’d discussed some of the “what made you go into romance, you suave, handsome, debonair Alpha of a male”That answer changes the more I dig. Because I’d had that…let’s call it a hiatus, back in 2018, and had asked many of you for reasons as to why I should continue, (thank you all for that) it was once again nice to be reminded that even though 2020 has only been good for my investor P/L, I can still finish TWO novels this year.

I was able to give a basic history of the industry, talk about authors of mine like Margie Church who I believe did a fantastic job of writing not only poly, but BDSM without being in the Scene. I think I mentioned Shakir, can’t remember. There were a lot of things to cover in the interview.

It reminded me of reasons why I’m putting so much time into Amazon Ads (which are slowly but surely working) and why I’m not worrying so much about an afternoon routine right now, outside of watching markets. And this interviewer did her homework, but probably missed out on the hiatus. The growth in the industry has forced me to strip down all the bullshit of my writing processes, rid myself of the military precision I used in said process, and get back to basics, with some help from My Two Loved Ones. Remembering where I came from has allowed me to dig a path that’s much slower than I’m used to. Maybe in the new year, I’ll move slow enough to move even faster.When I get the link to the interview, I’ll post it, along with a shoutout to the awesome moderator!

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Productive day

The dishes are being done now in the dishwasher, carpet is vacuumed, bathroom is acceptable to both girlfriends and the kitchen smells of Hungarian goulash. Sheets are clean thanks to my beautiful younger lover running point while I spent the entire day catching up on $AMZN ads class material since missing two days last week and man, shit is brutal! My eyes lol! But the results I have out now will give me some context to my career that was missing back in 2018.

Even more results with more ads, but the work is not for the mentally weak.  Even once you learn the simplified version of ad iteration, it’s still work because you’re changing, growing and watching, all while collecting data.  Everyone thinks writing the novel is the hardest part.  I’d argue that’s easy.  Yes, you have plots to keep in line, characters to form, worlds to build possibly, and if you’re lucky, the occasional “Fuck me, I wrote that?”  moment.  The one where you realize that what you did there was absolutely brilliant and you HOPE your readers get it.  That takes a lot of authors no more than 2-3 months, depending on size of the novel.  It takes me usually about two months to write 65-80k.  And the novel I started last week, I had planned to have finished by end of August.

That shit won’t happen.  Thank you education and enhancements, because I have a chance now to not only level up my career, but my more immediate sales because of the Amazon Ads class.  I have a few titles I’m re-uploading since taking possession of them from City Lights.

Marketing however, has been the tripping point.  When I released Slow Burn through City Lights, I spent money on various advertisers and while that did generate a return, that return simply implied my book had been seen and rank went down.  It resonated with NO ONE as far as sales were concerned.  And I have been in the position the last several years where I need money spent to return two fold at LEAST.

In the past, I felt kind of powerless with little money to spend on books I believed in, let alone the material I was writing or that had sold really well under someone else’s (ILVN) marketing and ad spend, which meant I had to rely on the old story. I must be a shit author.

I know better.

Since day one.  Not discounting luck, but I have sold from DAY ONE.

Didn’t change the internal story. Ya’ll may remember the great Stay in Bed cause fuck you and why should I continue writing of 2018…Not until Dec of 2018 when Oldest GF and I began plotting out the following year did I even get hyped again about my career, and that includes finishing the second Mafia/Illuminati para-rom. That series needs more world building.

If the story looks familiar, it is. The intro has been changed.

The older gf nudging me into the Skye Warren’s FB Intensive and Amazon Ad Profit Five Day Challenge and the younger one supporting me this year really makes a difference. I have some context around HOW to market these books. I’ve told my authors in the past that sometimes, it’s difficult to find them, but there are readers for your novels. I stand by it.

I’m now running twenty-three ads on $AMZN and I have ten plus more planned out tomorrow once I rewrite a hook for The Bodyguard.

And I signed up for the mid-level Amazon Ad Profit course because last week I committed to Marisa Peer’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy class on Abundance. Yes, I AM getting one more week of the PLUA TrumpBucks, but that money has gone into savings, gotten me ahead on bills and made me a little happy lettuce in $EWZ, $UAL and a few other underlyings, but not enough to really make a dent.

My head has been a shit show in the past, I’ve made no bones about that.  Starting Marisa’s course today, and doing the lessons daily for the next thirty-five days will help my head.

The FB ads, and Amazon Ads will help my bottom line.  And in that, I can continue to do what I’ve recently come to understand is my one job as a romance author – Sell you HOPE in this currently amazing shit show of a world, so that you can find YOUR happiness and get what YOUR heart yearns for.

Zig was right.  Buy the product and use it, then you can sell it.

I’m happy with the day’s productivity, but now it’s time for a cigar – La Galena Maduro. And you betcha I have a drink in hand. Enjoy your day. And take two seconds to think of two things you are grateful for.

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New Novel in the works…

Years ago I wrote, and in 2016 REWROTE what was called Stalker: Dub Mix.  It was a basic cyberpunk-esque paranormal romance where the Unseelie Kingdom of Faery had been turned into a mechanized realm reminiscent of Ghost in the Shell: SAC.

Now? Started the second novel, currently titled Crossing the Rubicon.

I think it’ll be a surprise…

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Things I thought I missed…

What have I been thinking since all this bullshit with the pandemic started?  First, before anyone gives me shit for calling it bullshit, look at it.  It IS bullshit. I’m not taking sides, simply pointing out that this disruption is bullshit.  I’ll reserve my opinions for who to blame for private conversations only.

The Altar for the Full Moon back in June

I don’t miss the old way of life that I thought I was after. Swore it was simply to write and finally make it as an author after years of struggle, like so many of my heroes did, but I was missing out on stability due to the choices I made in various undertakings.  Why would I want that shit?  The stress of not having my bills paid ON TIME was keeping me up at night.  Or more likely, waking me up at the fucking crack of dawn (8 AM for me) and I was NOT happy.

I simply missed the concept of having my bills paid and being able to spend money as I need or want.

I’m about to recharge my writing career – a career I’ve loved for the better part of 20 years. I’ve only taken 8 months off, back in 2018 and I forced a novel finished for L’Don, after her death, and for my oldest Girlfriend because I said I would.  I did it for me, too. When the new year came about, I had plans.  I made them with the oldest Lover at the end of 2018 and we were going to launch into 2019 like literary romantic badasses.

Those fell by the wayside.

Bought for my 42nd, but have yet to crack this ’06 Brut!

Shit changed.  Stopped me from writing – because I put my focus into bartending.  School and trying to find work, while loosely editing old shit, which is now back on Amazon.

Then, things started to look up but I was still a little lost. Maybe it was financially tied, maybe not. But my goal has ALWAYS been to make it as a successful author. My current and only contribution to the global world is that I through my romance novels, sell hope.

That has been my big, audacious goal, only adding trading to it because I love it so much.

I’ve ALWAYS had the love, the care from others, the concern, the connections.  The important things.  Now? The important ones have deepened, others have fallen off as a result of focus and people changing, and some of us growing in different directions.

Now? The bullshit pLandemic caused another change, which can either force me to make a choice or yearn for an old life. Why would I say forced? Because you make the decision you have to if you want the life you really want – because as the quote goes:

“Easy choices, hard life.
Hard choices, easy life.” – Pulled from Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss. The quote is not his. Highly recommended read, by the way.

It’s kinda like extracurricular work in school – it’s not really a choice if you’re ambitious about your life.

Also, I did a thing. Did it Feb 21st of 2020 in honor of #OwnHerHeart – just like I promised I would.

The ultimate question is, how do you want to live your life? Really? Because most people don’t have a clue, as they haven’t spent time trying to actively design it. They always put themselves on the back burner. That’s not fair nor is it going slamming into the grave having spent time thinking, “God DAMN, that was fun shit.”

Again, with the fear. I choose to believe it’s False Evidence Appearing Real. And I’m not talking about the fear the media has sold you. I mean your deep, dark, personal, instilled in you, sold to you, bought by you, conquerable by you, fear.

Also, “Don’t believe a thought you think.” – T. Harv Ecker.

So I’m not reclaiming what I missed. No way. Instead, I’m going after what I want and desire. I’m back in the kitchen doing what I love. I’m making drinks at home with no expectations. I’m experimenting with biohacknig more now, including looking at the Modern Silva method. I’m about to start reading a book on anti-aging because my Oldest Lover said, “I love you.” I’m playing more with my cast iron wok and Chinese cuisine, and looking to expand into more Asian cuisine, as well as Indian (since I did bartend at a dope Indian spot.)

Mushroom Coffee from Four-Sigmatic. I prefer the “Think” with Lion’s Mane to start my day but their Reishi Cocoa is good before bedtime too!

I’m taking chances. Even my soon to start ad spend on FB is a chance. I’ve told the younger Lover, “I always bet on the winning horse.”

Btw, in both their cases, I always win. Yet, I, even as YUGE as my ego is, sometimes forget to bet on me. So now? I’m listening to what Option Trading has taught me. Take the fucking risk.  I have a TON of material for you all to read over the coming 18 months, I simply need to get on it.  The bullshit pandemic gave me the time to work on material I really WANT to because I couldn’t tend bar, thanks to assholes shutting business down.  I have written Riding Myst and Riding Rayne to follow up Riding Tempest and close out the Undead Souls MC for now.  What is currently called “Stalker: Dub Mix” I’m digging back into and plotting the second book, tentatively called “Rubicon” and I know what my band of wolves and lone Fae must do to restore their world to the former glory days before being overrun by technology.  I’ve started digging into Chasing the Witch and picking holes in that novel so I can rewrite what needs, and create a better secret society and a more ‘realistic’ Mafia.

Two Samantha Powers titles (yeah, it’s me.  Like you didn’t know when I may have accidentally posted what, four years ago?  That Samantha Djents…) are getting made into full-blown novels because I really loved the Samurai Jack aspect of the first novel, and the second one was simply fun.

Yup. It’s really me at 42.

Slow Burn has been re-covered, renamed, and a few tweaks have been made for that to be released soon.  I’m working on edits now.  Well, trying, anyway.  Laughing Gas is a bitch but it sure as hell made the root canals easier…

I’m 42 and I’m fucking fabulous, growing more so every day.

How about you?

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The new year – the RETURN OF THE MACK!

The rest of the week I clean, organize, get ready for this year because I’m doing things differently. This week I’m going over notes for Riding Myst and starting my plotting for Riding Rayne (third Undead Souls MC book) because I need to get on that.

Tastyworks on the left – Word and Riding Myst on the Right!

I’ll be working every day at the shop from the 12th to the 31st of January so I’ll have Scrivener cranked up while I’m selling cigars, doing shop maintenance. I won’t be actively looking for bar tending shifts/gigs until the last week of January, no point if I can’t come in for an interview while my boss is out of the country. I will be continuing my tastytrade education, and continuing to plot. I still have a lot of work I CAN release as I have income for editors/cover art/marketing. I may be picking Khloe Wren‘s brain about some of that.

While some of those funds will be put away, I have plans for much of what I pull in, depending on some news I’m waiting on, too.

I found a list from last year – goals for the year, mostly including financial goals. IF we eliminate that fucking outlier move in $TGT (goddamn soccer moms!) then I had a good learning year as a trader. This year? Yeah, more income, more trading.

I burned the list, sent those wishes up in smoke to the universe to hear.  It’ll provide fruit in the coming months.  I didn’t tell the world this, and since no one reads this heavily right now, I DID apply back to work at an IT company here in Atlanta.  I need something, I need stability and growth.  That’s the only thing I’ve been missing and now it’s time for me to seize it through bar tending and maybe going back into IT.  I’m outdated, but I was assured that having a skillset will set me apart from other candidates.  Also, I’m not a server – which I need to make fully aware the folks at FoodSERV.  I couldn’t serve my way out of a paper bag.  If the lesson wasn’t clear when I worked at Coca-Cola back in Oct, then it wouldn’t ever be!

I’m a bar tender.  That’s what I paid all that money for.

I’ve done my year in review and my planner for 2020. If I’m not careful, because trading, I’ll start to look like Louisa Bacio and her crew – complete with colored markers etc LOL!

I’ve opted to spend more time making decisions, and less time thinking about them. That’s part of what Tastytrade is all about – not just pure wealth creation. I needed to disrupt ME. Again.  Making quicker decisions will aid that.  I’ll have to think faster on my feet and accept shit as it comes.  That’s good.  I need to stop looking at the arrow for verification.

So, out with the old, in with the new move. And “I’m very cool, I’m cool, the very move.”

Ready for 2020!

Of course…being back as a writer, you know that means I’m…

Open Spotify (NSFW!)

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BREAKTHROUGH – The word (is the word!) for 2020

That’s the word I chose to focus on for the coming year because I need one, I want one, and I deserve one. Granted, I’m mostly talking about my financial situation, and my level of “low” has upgraded, blessedly. But I’m also talking about my trading. My relationships, my drink making, my cigar knowledge, my alcohol knowledge (wine in particular), and most importantly, my WRITING.
I’ve spent most of this year NOT being a writer. I’ve been a bartender, I’ve been a student of the bar (heh heh) and I’ve been a trader (mostly) both live and on paper. I’ve been more of a cigar aficionado.


Oh, update. I was let go from The KOP lounge.  It was a blessing in disguise, TRUST ME! Such a shit show with the manager being overworked, another higher up being overworked, a cheap bastard owner, and employees who didn’t know shit about our POS.  Oh and that whole back pain shit.
BFB Downut every time I pick up an older MS slated for release when it’s time, I get a feeling of elation and longing – yes, for my schedule is less erratic and more predictable, but more for the ability to come back and craft. The Undead Souls MC series is one book away from being finished. Clint – a sort of SoA rip off, needs to be rewritten from the ground up because of the lessons I learned in the Undead Souls MC about plotting a series, and really, being a better writer in terms of telling a better story.
Yes, I’ll have to learn marketing, that’ll be at least ONE breakthrough. Another will be when I finally start hitting the nail on the head and making sustainable income from said initial breakthrough.
I have at least six FULL-Length novels that are ready if not NEAR ready for the world to see. Plus, Undead Souls may have a follow-up series (Firebrand MC for those who have read Riding Tempest) just WAITING for the world to see what I have to share in Romance.
I’ll be at the shop most of January, pending some possible news, so I’ll be plotting, returning back the first week of January for my first BREAKTHROUGH.
What’s your word to focus on for 2020?
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*From Facebook post – only lengthened*
Today I got to hear the ding in TOS – something I haven’t had the pleasure of hearing in a few weeks. I’d have heard it in my live trading account Monday, but I was kind of fuzzy headed because I’m getting over a cold shared by both lovers.  Prior til that, there was the routine of getting up, sucking down Amaro, just to suck down painkillers, just to suck down vodka/gin/bourbon, just to put something in my stomach so I COULD function, THEN sucking down coffee because I needed a clear head for work.  Guess who, by the way, has three jobs…NOT counting trader, cigar/lifestyle blogger/writer.  Needless to say, I’m grateful for the job at the Kop – it’s OUR bar.  The hotel staff basically want nothing to do with working it, because they generally don’t know the POS or how to pour/mix etc.  I am just guessing, but only Eric and I are running it for now.  For my first bar gig out of school, and my first working (non writing) job, I am pretty pleased.  It’s temporary – I need a bigger space, more routine, regulars, that sort of thing.   Oh, plus regular tips.
The trading ding, along with the little bit of writing I did last week is making me pine for normalcy, routine. I miss being a writer, but am having to figure out how to build in time to write when I can on nights when I’m not at The Kop, and trade during the day all five days a week.  I’m back in the swing of watching daily Tastytrade content in the evenings during my cigar time.
Now, I can get up, drink my alkagizer, drink my coffee, eat regular, home cooked food and I’m in minimal pain, but a foam roller has helped with that.  Oh, one thing I’ve had to add as of late, Kombucha.  Gut health is shot to shit when you take 4X800 Advil three to four times a day for most of a month.

I won’t lie, this was inspiration when I was starting the Undead Souls MC series!

I basically will be eating dinner for lunch on those days, go to work, make sure I bring my chicken and greens with me so when I have a down moment, I can eat healthy, then come home and maybe not worry about food (bullshit, it’s me…) or not worry so much. I’ll possibly be looking into foil packet batching, #slowcookersunday recipes, and keeping my alkagizers in heavy rotation. This doesn’t help with “I want to get back to writing or trading” bit.

Figuring out the new routine is going to take some adjusting. Making sure I have enough time, energy, (booze, haha) and can pick up a new routine with my writing loved ones…is going to be key.
I may have to start getting up at 10 AM…rather than 11:30.
Not sure how I feel about that LOL!  If I do that though, I may catch live Tastytrade content before the oldest GF calls.  That might be good to be up at opening bell.  It might give me meditation time, as well as some time to spend with my tarot cards too.
The goals are still in place. Return to writing, full swing. Get my Tastyworks account up there in size so I can really trade. This doing two to five trades a month is great for learning but my P/L sucks and I cannot fix that without the ability to vary strategy and underlying. Get my Tattoo to honor #OwnHerHeart, Oh, there’s a list of things I need to do, and want to do.
If The Villages at Kensington work with me, I’m here one more year. But after that? It’s time for an upgrade.
Suppose this was why I began to reclaim my time using Tim Ferriss things three years back.
Go, do be. And do it all with passion.
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Over the pain

*From Facebook.*

A little back story:  Three weeks ago, almost to the day, I worked an event as a bar back for Cobb Energy Center.  I busted my ass.  Came back next day.  Did bar tending.  Set up, tear down, all the lifting, in a less than in shape 41 year old body with great aerobic capacity but a weak core and muscles, outside of my legs.

Wake up that Sunday whimpering in pain.

Spend three weeks in excruciating pain where I drank booze, amaro (which is alcohol but not for the booze sake) took tons of pain pills, basically self medicated, didn’t eat, writhed in pain, couldn’t think, function or move, outside of forcing myself to head to the Kop for that part time permanent job.

Today?  Finally…now, the post.


Riding Myst intro…

Catching up on some other client work today since I finally feel fine for the most part. The re-introduction of home cooked food has helped, unfortunately my body is revolting against the Chinese veggies, aklagizer and Himalayan sea salt drink.

It only took me three weeks to get over this pain. It took some tough love from…well, She knows. And some help from my other, because I was at one point literally whimpering on the floor with the AC off because I didn’t realize just how bad I’d wrenched my back.

Oh well. Saturday night was the first time I felt like I’d been able to do my job without a hitch. Making drinks isn’t the problem. Hell, kitchen and serving, despite my learning curve aren’t difficult. But since I never had retail experience growing up, some things that should be common sense to me, aren’t.

Then there’s the POS. That’s what I’ve struggled with because only one other person has it down and she left to get more hours at her other job. My GMs are learning too but it’s frustrating, dealing with a learning curve on top of everything at once.

So I slow down to speed up. Something I’m learning with this job that I’ve been learning in trading: Give yourself time to be right. We trade strategies 45 days out and if the stock moves against us after we place the trade, we have time to either adjust or cover. Better to adjust, but possibly better to let probabilities play out and give ourselves time to be right. With this job? I’ve been hard on myself with the learning curve.

So, I’m going to do everything in my power to give myself time to be right.

If you’re in Buckhead, I’d stop by for a drink after 5 when I’m there at The KOP Lounge. Maybe catch Atlanta United, or Liverpool Football Club games!

I’m going to see Fit for an Autopsy with Rivers of Nihil at end of Oct. No pit for me!

I took off trades for profits Friday, need to put more on today but it’s almost time for Market Bell so….have to wait until tomorrow when I can spend proper time.

Oh and something I haven’t mentioned to anyone BUT my Loved Ones is that I’ve figured out a plot issue with Riding Myst in the second Undead MC book. Having to do with the MC and their initial decision to get caught up in the mess involving finding Myst gave me a chance to throw down some tension.

And I intend to get back to plotting what’s going to be called Riding Rayne – the third Undead Souls MC book.  After some reading, I might take another stab at fixing the BDSM scene for #OwnHerHeart. 

I’ve missed this reality. My new one has perks, such as being able to finally clear my bills and start putting funds away.  Saving for my goals list, moving, upgrading my life.

My hope is that you’re doing what you love, or working toward it. Bar tending is great, but it’s a means to an end because I am a writer and (new) trader – those are my passions. Talking about spirits is too, and I’m glad I seized the opportunity.

Do not deny your nature.

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