Finished with Bar tendnig school BUT (The Journey)

*Long posts on Facebook that have me questioning things as I find a way to return back to writing should be shared here, and possibly Patreon.*

I know what I’m doing this for. I know I belong on the other side of the bar, because I FEEL it.

But honestly?


“It’s getting harder to breathe, harder to feel free
It’s getting tougher to write, tougher to feel things
It’s getting harder to live, harder to pay bills
Hard to feel alive

It’s getting harder to breathe, harder to feel free
It’s getting tougher to write, tougher to feel things
I need help
I feel sick of taking these pills
Life must be sweet once we’re fucking dead…


Once that we’re dead

Sometimes I drown in the sound
By trying to find the silence
(The silence!)
Lost in the noise of this world

Show me the way through the darkness” – Novelists

Ignore the curved steel…

How appropriate the band name…

I miss this. I LIKED having to struggle with the characters and the writing. I enjoy it and will return. But I miss it terribly right now.

It felt good to hit “The End.” and feel that satisfactory little death (different little death) that I think artists get after completing a project.

I liked the mental struggle of figuring out how I was going to show the world that it could hope for love, no matter the struggle – it made me feel.

I hope you’re embracing your struggle.

About saschaillyvichauthor

Sascha, who was proclaimed by the publishing industry as The Gentleman Playboy of Romance, started writing eighteen years ago. His erotic romances have been listed under Night Owl Romance’s and Road to Romance’s Recommended read lists, and he’s been nominated for a CAPA by The Romance Studio. Recently, Torn to Pieces was a USA TODAY Recommended Read. Sascha is a trained and experienced public speaker, and enjoys giving talks and teaching, particularly on aspects of romance, erotic romance, and writing. He was the former host of The Unnamed Romance Show on Radio Dentata, and is fond of doing guest spots and interviews, on both traditional radio and podcasts. Sascha writes for City Lights Publishing, Red Sage, Sizzler Editions, Totally Bound, and Decadent Publishing. Find him at
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1 Response to Finished with Bar tendnig school BUT (The Journey)

  1. Pingback: Fuck, the SPAM! | Paranormal Erotic Romance by Sascha Illyvich

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