A Quick Five

For those of you on my email list, do ya’ll remember when I tried to copy Tim Ferriss’s Five Bullet Fridays? That’s hard to do when you are low income LOL! Things have changed since the move, since the surgery, life has been more abundant and I’m definitely grateful. This year I’ve embarked more into my Witchy side, which, for many of you, may seem out of context but really? Have ya’ll READ my novels? LOL!

Kel Kitty!

This won’t entirely be a list of “five things I’m discovering” per se, but just a random shit I’m picking up because it has helped some aspect of my life. Be it biohacking or the kitties, some aspect of my life has been improved by a little research because hey, Google is your friend, right?

Ya’ll know as I’ve mentioned before, we have kitties. Honestly, I’m a dog person but having these two little babies in my life has been a godsend. While I’m getting back into my physical fitness, I still have a split stairwell to haul things up. Groceries, no problem because it’s a one and done trip with bags in one hand and it’s old hat because of my old apartment. The younger lover however, saw a better solution with Chewy for us to get cat stuff. Their customer service is incredible. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve made money on the stock! They cater to our picky cats and honestly? The way we stock up, it won’t hurt for them to send us a bulk order once every few months. I’m not a Strongman so I’m not trying to carry 50 lb. bags of cat litter up the stairs like they’re Atlas Stones. (yet!)

Even though I’ve cut my drinking down by about 75% or so, I still take N-Acetyl Cysteine. I know it’s being removed from a lot of retailers because the FDA has their heads up their asses. It has other benefits outside of liver repair and is a building block for glutathione. That’s a very important building block for our mitochondria if you’re following Dave Asprey’s education. Ever since I started trying to redesign my life, I’ve dug deeper into aspects of biohacking because when it’s all said and done from this perspective, I want to write better and better stories. I need my mind to be at its peak because the type of work I’m creating lately, I feel is just better. I was picking up my pills from Puritan but they stopped carrying it. Luckily, iHerb still carries NAC. Pretty thrilled about the prices too. I’ve been adding extra vitamins to my regimen as of late because I have no desire to grow odd and die. I’d rather grow and call it on my own.

Da Ember Libertad!

I’ve been a fan of bulletproof coffee for the last two years and it’s really made a huge difference in my productivity, especially since the surgery. IF I had to swear by one inexpensive product or component of the bulletproof coffee as I make it, it would be the coffee alone, only because the brain octane is a highly concentrated version of coconut oil and has a tendency to screw my stomach up if I don’t drink my coffee slowly. But the mushroom coffee alone? Four-Sigmatic’s THINK with Lion’s Mane and Chaga would be it. For heart patients, depending on (and I’m not a licensed physician) would be the way to go. I’ve put the powder into brownies and other baked goods and really enjoyed the mental boost. It’s been cool because when I WAS more self-destructive, I felt the enhancements and really lamented the days when I didn’t have it. But now? Well, it’s amazing to sit down for the two to three hours a day and put out quality words on the page because I’m hoping to level up. I have a lot to share as I’ve stated, and there’s even an upcoming Youtube video or three detailing the new work, along with some plans for the future.

Harney and Sons tower of Tea, gourd, bombilla, and Annapark Yerba Mate!

Lastly, I don’t do this every afternoon as much as I’d like, but I’ve gotten more into tea. The Pu-Erh is actually a low level nootropic, which I didn’t know until I’d read more on it. And I know there are a plethora of tea blenders and retailers and all that, but I’m new to this. I’m not sure I’ve noticed a huge difference in productivity and the other thing about the Pu-erh I’m drinking now is that my current roster includes a much more complex version than what I used to pick up from an Asian market in the Bay Area. To be fair, when I first moved here, the older lover sent me a pound of yerba mate and I was literally drinking a pot a day because it was the only nootropic I had access to. Remind me one day, I’ll have to post a video here about the day I ended up with a pot of mate and then one of the girlfriends sent me a sample of mushroom coffee. It was fucking hilarious!

I know, I know, it wasn’t a quick five, it was more a diatribe. I promise, more relevant stuff coming. OH! Wait, I DO have publisher news of sorts. First off, Decadent Publishing has picked up a number of my older titles that no longer had homes since a particular publisher didn’t tell me they were closing their doors and I had all my rights back. Second, I’m in the process of obtaining cover art for the print version of Saint in Sinner’s Eyes. That’ll be up for sale on Amazon soon.

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Three Months! or I Don’t WANT to Write an Original Post!

Apparently, not everything I post on Facebook is always long form LOL!

Really, I pulled the idea from my older Love, seeing her longform posts on thought and heart. That’s not entirely me, the heart portion anyway. I’m the thinking man’s Cancer LOL!

You’re wondering the three month mark?

Afib IV

May 5th I had my Ablation surgery to rid myself of Atrial Fibrillation. For those not familiar with the heart ailment, it’s an irregular and rapid heart rhythm that while not always a permanent state of being, tends to make life difficult. The heart is literally forcing itself to work harder to pump blood through the body, even when it registers as fine. Ask any woman I’ve had a long term relationship with about how tired I was because the fact that I wasn’t in afib and she’ll tell you about the amount of times I would do simple things, walking, hanging out in warmer or cooler temperatures, drinking whiskey in the summer, or even having sex and she’ll tell you that all of those things either had potential to send me to the ER or at the very least, bench me for several hours while I recovered. I was diagnosed at age twenty and in the ER for three days while they monitored me and I found myself seeing a cardiologist in Clear Lake, TX until I switched to a new doc in Livermore back in 2005 and again to a new doctor here back in 2016.

Add to that the fact that my relationship with alcohol and cigars didn’t hurt me, but it didn’t help and even if I’d have quit both completely? Ask me how many times I woke up from a nightmare and woke up in afib. More than once, let’s just say that. January 7th of 2020, I woke up in afib around 9:30 something. Sometimes that can be slept off and the heart will self-correct. Sometimes strenuous (read sexy personal times) can jolt it back into sinus rhythm but the only change I made that week was taking a week off from drinking. I ended up having to go to the ER because the older lover pushed. Worse? She made me tell the younger lover (since she’s actually local) and around 1 AM Wednesday, I came home, ate, and went back to bed after having put in most of a full day at half speed because walking from one room to the other made me tired.

Nightmares. Think about that for a moment. A fucking Nightmare sent me into atrial fibrillation.

I struggled with the concept of ablation because it was literally a surgery they developed right around the time I was diagnosed. What they do is essentially go into the heart with a catheter, find the faulty pathways and either burn or freeze the faulty pathways in your heart, forcing your heart to actually use the ones that work.

Kel (brought home in May) and Ember (rescued stray a few months later)

Back in April of this year I was at my cardiologist and he’d threatened to take me off my pills which, I said no. Without them, I’m exhausted. I miss one and bam, I might as well shelf the day because I have just enough energy to take care of myself and ‘maybe’ pour a drink. He suggested the procedure and gave a recommendation to a doctor. I went, saw the Electrophysiologist and instantly liked him. I mean what’s not to like about a guy who asks “How do you have two girlfriends?” and grins when I said “Welcome to America!” You should have heard our exchange the day of surgery!

After that was approved, I found myself at Monday Night Brewery for an ATL Cigar Co. event and talked to a guy who had the surgery thirteen years earlier. He had his energy, his body was in good shape, everything was positive so I felt better.

Full disclosure: I’m pretty much on the Carnivore/Bulletproof/Wildfit diet so food isn’t an issue. And until I cut back on my drinking, sweets weren’t a thing. I know, I know…replacement therapy. Piss off! At least I understand WHY (Chocolate and alcohol have a similar effect on the brain.)

Palms D'Or

But on May 5th, this all ended. Twenty years of no energy. Twenty years of self-abuse I didn’t know was caused by a lack of blood flow and oxygen. Twenty years struggling with what I thought were mental issues I refused to treat outside of my normal because fuck that. Apparently, I’ve been labeled stubborn. Pfft.

Gone. Suffering. Gone.

Anguish (yes, it can even at my level cause that) gone.

Weakness. Gone.

Wolf Mode: Activated.

And after surgery, I was able to come back full swing, Full MOTHAPHUKIN’ H.A.M. The heat doesn’t bother me as much anymore, I don’t require the AC to be cranked at the shop when it’s above 85 outside and I’m either working (with a cigar) or just hanging out (again, with a cigar!) I don’t have to watch what I drink when because of the temperature. I still do it because I did cut back by choice. The walk from my apartment (it’s a quarter mile longer now) to MARTA doesn’t make me feel like utter shit.

In short, I have my life back. It’s been three months since surgery and I still feel like a million dollars. What’s that mean for you? It means that it’s taken me a lot longer to get a novel written because there’s been a LOT of doctor stuff all around (no, not covid nonsense) and house stuff and two new kitties (one back in May, one we just brought in from the street) and creation of a path back to writing/trading. My next post will share something from the Demon/Human PNR I started just after surgery.

Honestly? I don’t think I felt this good in my teens. Here’s to life, to joy, to promises and experiences, all before I turned 43, and the aftermath of the decision I made.

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Rabbit Rabbit!

Good news, and better news! On May 5th, I had ablation surgery to correct my Afib – atrial fibrillation. That murmur/ irregular heartbeat has been causing me all manner of issues for the last 22 years. I had no idea just how bad it was until the weekend after the surgery and I woke up having energy.

Like, full the fuck on, I’m ready to tackle the fucking day and if you get in my way I will end you, energy. I didn’t realize it had ties to my mental state, either. The short version of what they do is they run a catheter through my femoral vein all the way to the top of my heart (as was explained to me) and then burn/freeze arteries they feel are the ones misfiring/causing the problem. Then, the heart is forced to re-route the electrical impulses to arteries that don’t skip or misfire.I woke up out of surgery with a shit ton of blood around my groin, major bruising, and wondered where the party was…and the nurse attending me told me it was me, I was the party, I was like…cool. Can I go home now?

Nope. Four hours of flat on my back. Younger girlfriend had my iPhone but because of nerves, I spent a lot of my battery pre-surgery trying to trade corn or soybeans or something. I mean shit, this is heart surgery…I see the electrophysiologist nurse assistant on the 3rd (so in two days) and hopefully, I can get the all-clear to start lifting kettlebells again and doing basic home maintenance shit like taking out the fucking trash. I did a pre-emptive strike on this surgery though. I put back into my diet Vitamin C, D, Zinc, Calcium, D, and N-Acetyl Cysteine to ramp up my body’s healing abilities. Oh, and I’ve resumed drinking my bulletproof coffee in the mornings.

Oh, and hopefully they’ll also take me off ALL my heart meds. The EV put me on eliquis for a month. I hate it. I had my first drink since May 2nd, on the 19th at the ATL Cigar event and HALF a damn Sour/Saison made me a little tipsy. Plus, bruising I can’t explain because of the fucking blood thinner.

I’m back though. The week after surgery, I hit the ground running, pulling up Scrivener to tear apart the plot of Riding Myst, the second novel in the Undead Souls MC series. I wanted to make sure the plot is as good as possible, or tighten it up so it is a better book. I wrote it almost two years ago and for the last two years, I’ve been drifting in and out of “fuck you, life.” Some of you may remember when I threatened back in2018 to quit writing. I’ll tell you what that was. Disappointment with my performance, disappointment in my ability to earn, and lackluster sales. That was a GREAT part of why I pondered it. 2019 was the first year I didn’t receive a SINGLE royalty check from anyone, including, I’m pretty sure, the few pennies I still get from Totally Bound. It’s disheartening, to say the least.

Fast forward past all the shit to March of 2021 and my cardiologist suggests the ablation surgery. I don’t know if it was somehow my Crone’s pushing, or I’m just tired of the pills and lack of energy, or what. It could be a combination of factors, but I said “fuck it. Let’s do this shit.”In the middle of breaking down scene by scene, “Riding Myst,” I received an acceptance letter from the folks at Decadent Publishing. Paula’s Craving, the re-work of the very first romance novel 16-year-old me wrote is getting a new home. There may be more involved with Decadent because I did send them something like 9 titles but we’ll see! Then, last week I picked up Addicted to You (Remix) again and managed to solidify Adrian’s character traits.

In the meantime, I’ve been reading a fuck ton of romance novels. Mostly Cynthia Eden’s Wilde Ways series, but I finished the Circle Trilogy from Queen Nora (Roberts!) and picked up the Sign of Seven series. I’ve gone through some cowboy stuff from Em Petrova, a little love for Louisa Bacio and a handful of other authors. That’s how I’m refilling the well. The goal is 50 books by end of July, 2021. I’m a little under halfway there. Spending time at the shop when it’s not busy gives me plenty of time to read.

I need to make time in my schedule to write daily. That’s happening. I need to make time to continue studying Spanish, pick up Russian, and refresh my IT skills so I can go back into that hellhole for my allotted time. Honestly, I cannot tell you how fucking incredible it feels to have all this free energy and NOT be exhausted until the end of my day, around 2:30/3 AM. The heat isn’t bothering me, though it hasn’t been so bad yet to be fair. Maybe we get a mild summer.

This is my new normal.

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April Winds bring….BRRR it’s still fucking cold!

March was an uneventful month – I think I spent half of it in bed due to lack of desire. Oh and doctors visits. Heart, wrists, teeth….fingers knees, and toes LOL! Seriously though, we’re talking about taking me off my Sotalol (beta-blocker) in favor of a permanent solution (read: Surgery) and my wrists? I officially have carpal tunnel AND paresthesia. I spent part of last week with my entire right arm feeling numb. Then there was my neuropsyche eval – that was for driving though. Gods know why I need it but Voc Rehab thinks I do in light of my heart and carpal tunnel…

More importantly, the following:

The piece I’d posted earlier had to be restarted due to the fact that I HATED the heroine. She felt too good and pure, so she got shelved to the back for now while I created someone a little more jaded. Meet Anastasia, who makes her debut in the revised version I started on Tuesday. I’m MUCH happier with the way this story feels but the real tell will be when I start writing from Ana’s POV. If I can sustain it because I built it, then it’s golden and I’ll be able to write a darker romance than I have in a long while.

I’ve been going back over my Undead Souls MC Para-Rom to make sure it’s ready for the road of editing, but I’ve realized that I’m not happy with two of the characters from THAT series either. They won’t be removed, just rewritten to modernize the English a bit. I tried making them speak in Anglo Saxon but that’s frustrating even to me and I’m the one writing it. So they’ll end up talking more like Xcor and his Band of Bastards from the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Not quite so….out there.

You may remember I wrote two novels for a Lover some time back. I revisited the second novel, more or less a BDSM Romantic Suspense and while I had the BDSM down, I wanted to fix the plot for my hero who was formerly in Securities. I need to email my brokerage for some possible scenarios that’ll make the story flow better. Plus, honestly? This story is so fucking predictable it sickens me. At least the first love letter I wrote for Lover Mine wasn’t 100% predictable, though I may tweak that a bit too. She deserves that.

I start physical therapy after my eval Friday the 2nd so hopefully that doesn’t drain me too much. I’ll also have Saturday to clean and write, so I’ll keep you all posted as to what that looks like!

Books I’m enjoying:

Paganism by River and Joyce Higginbotham
Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, MD.
The Daily Stoic by Ryan HolidayThe first book I’ve read cover to cover and while I’m aware of my Wiccan roots and ‘basic” tenants of Paganism, it was a really thorough look with insights that dovetail into the second book, which I found fascinating.

Things I’m playing with: Earthing Grounding Mat. You all know I’m severely unbalanced, that’s the life of a writer! But the younger lover’s mother sent us both these mats you plug into an outlet and they pull from the Earth via your electric outlet’s grounding poll. They make my feet tingle and I can tell you that there’s apparently a noticeable difference, though “I” can’t see it, others have made comments. I suggest looking into them if you cannot go outside and step barefoot on the actual earth itself. Earthing is the company name, I believe. That’s kinda all I got right now! Thought I’d share more than the usual writer stuff with this update. I hope you enjoy.

Until next time, thank you from the very bottom of my heart. The contributions mean a LOT and help tremendously.

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Playlist and some news!

I’ve been fighting the last few weeks to stay engaged but recently realized that I had all the rights back to my Samantha Powers titles because that line no longer exists at that publisher. I quickly shot an email over to the very fine folks at Decadent Publishing to see if they were interested and what I needed to do.

Because you didn’t expect this? It’s ME!

It turns out that I can send in the MS with a one-line synopsis since I’ve published with Decadent before.  I went through the old stories and queued up Paula’s Craving.  This is the story of repair, of moving forward and finding that soulmate with whom you want to grow with, only in twenty thousand words or so.  It was originally titled Cliff and was started when I was in high school.

My one-sentence synopsis: 

After a night of rekindling their passion, Paula knows Ryan is her soulmate.  But when he runs out, she’s left devastated until an unexpected encounter inspires her to fight for love one more time

As a fun little thing, here’s the playlist:


  • Missing You – Maria Martin
  • In A Reverie – Lacuna Coil
  • Paper Waves – The Gathering
  • The May Song – The Gathering
  • A Current Obsession – Lacuna Coil
  • Cold – Lacuna Coil
  • The Warmth – Incubus
  • Promenade a Paris – Circles, Spirals
  • Iolite – Claire Voyant


  • A Noise Severe – The Gathering
  • Amity – The Gathering
  • Regret – Assemblage 23
  • The Deep End – Crossfade
  • Hemorrhage in my Hands – Fuel
  • Deception:  Concealing Fate Part 2 – Tesseract
  • Language 1: Intuition – The Contortionist
  • Monster – The Gathering
  • Allure – Skyharbour
  • Sick of Man – Cold

Maybe someday I’ll do like some authors do and put them in order as to where they would appear in the writing/scene of the novel but honestly? It’s only going to top out at 20,000 regardless of whether Decadent accepts it or not.

I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t my usual heavy as fuck playlist, with death or djent (well there’s one track, two if you count The Contortionist) but outside of that? Goth metal and some Nu-Metal. The lyrical content played well with Lacuna Coil’s melodies. The same could be said of The Gathering’s older material when Anneke was the lead singer. It worked well. It fit the emotional story I was trying to put together from the ashes of the original novel length (written on a TYPEWRITER!) story I’d started so long ago. That was the piece, a pure romance with “some” sex I’d have shown, that started my trek into this business. It would have been pure, but unreadable, honestly.

Now? I’m pretty happy with the outcome despite hating it right now because I’m editing it. You know editing. “Fuck that shit. I have dishes to do.”

Voice:You have to edit.
Me: No. I have to cook this here chicken.
Voice: You have to edit. It’ll be okay.
Me:No. My kitchen needs cleaning
Voice: You really should edit
Me: You ever shut the fuck up?
Voice: Only when you edit.
Me: GFY *Goes off to edit*

Yeah, it’s like that LOL!

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The Goings On! (Another Long form Post)

Bet you thought I was dead, yeah?  LOL!  No, 2020 didn’t take me out.  I’m pretty much invincible.  But I realized I hadn’t had a chance to post during all of last year’s chaos.  Hell, even the previous year I hadn’t made the effort and you really deserve not only my effort but my apology.

A LOT has gone down since my last post. I went to bartending school, worked a handful of events, even got a job that caused me major back pain, along with getting fired (thank FUCK) from that shit hole, only to get a really good bar gig at an Indian spot in Buckhead…

That closed thank you pLandemic Covid-19.

I’ve moved.  Bigger apartment, better view.

That’s the life events.  You’re here because I’m a writer and you love that.  So, let’s get down to business.

You may remember in 2019, I released Riding Tempest in the 20 Shades of Shifter boxed set that I Love Vampire Novels put out.  Well, Oldest Lover convinced me to continue in that world and I’ve birthed Riding Myst and Riding Rayne to complete the Undead Souls MC trilogy.  I had a lot of fun talking with a writer on the plot regarding the overall series and how pleased I was at how it all came together, and I plan to share that with you all soon.  Riding Tempest is ready to go, but the other two books need edits and cover art.  I have a cover artist and I’ll share the cover for Riding Tempest in this post.  

Cover for Riding Tempest – out in late 2021 or early 2022!

I found an editor recently and decided I was going to take all of the books I have ready for that stage and start funding the process to get them ready.  I’m still somewhat cash-poor, so I’m asking Vocational Rehab to help me get updated on my IT skills so I can go back into that world.  I was in IT up until about age 35, from tech support at age 19 to random computer restores and tech writing, I’ve been around but my skillset became severely outdated since I rarely used it for anything other than basic level support and haven’t had a real job (the cigar shop technically doesn’t count) since I was 19 years old.  That being said, as I have income, each book will be edited, given cover art and then I’ll line up a release schedule for 2022.

Oh, but I DO have new material.  I’ll share what I’ve written in another post, but be warned:  It’s not going to make it to the final cut.  I don’t like my heroine; she’s too innocent.  But don’t fret!  I’ve got a new heroine to take her place and my old one will still make her appearance in this new demon romance. 

If you remember, the last series of posts had the original version of Stalker: Dub Mix, my paranormal Fae/Wolf romance.  I rewrote that, but in August of last year, I started the second book in the three-book series.  No, it’s not finished, though I’m about halfway done right now.  It…end of the year was tough.  But I also began plotting the third book in that series, along with giving the entire three-book series a new series name and each book has new titles from what the old ones were.

I have a lot of decisions to make regarding the HOW of moving forward, and you’ll likely be involved on some level if you’re an active participant.  But I AM still writing, despite not being here or on social media much, outside of trading.  

Let me know your thoughts on the cover of Riding Tempest!

Have a blessed 2021!

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The Exhaustion but not so, post! (Long-form)

I’m exhausted. But it’s a good exhausted. I’m not running around exhausted…those who have been Following pick Up the lyric. Been a long, but produCtive week. TalKed to the older lover and I feel so much closer in that relationship. All is well, especially with what I plan for publishing. Nothing new this year, but I have a plan. I have quite the dilemma coming up re: money. For once, I actually have it and can start to save. That’s due in part to a Temporary sHift in financial rEsponsibilities, but the issue is the whole supplemental social security, pandemic/unemployment plus I trade and I made money – wtf with taxes now? Though so far I’m down money on the year, thank you fucking BlackGoddamnBerry. What the fuck you even DO anymore?

But I’m making it back slowly in LitecoiN because of 24×7 trading. A qualified accountant will come my way. I’m certain. If not, I’ll figure it out and run game like I always do because I always win. I’m ahEad in my reading goal by a book. I promised Louisa Bacio I’d read a book of hers and I finally got around to it (sorry hon) but I’ve also kept up with The Daily Stoic. If my best friend ever gets back to me, I have a poWerful book gift for her too.

I resumed kettlebell swings today. God DAMN, that shit Wore me out. But I’m listening to Vishen and changing my identity. The older lover is grOwing into such a beautiful woman. The youngeR lover is taking her power back.

How can you Defeat that?

You can’t.

I’m the luckiest man in the entire universe.

I won’t release anything new this year. That’s the big thing for me. If you’ve been following my career for any length of time since I started, you know I had routine releases every few months for most of two decades. Cover art aPpRoval, Edits (usually three or four rounds), and then newsletters, updating this site when I Started it? And then twitter (before I got banned. Twice, ha!) and Facebook, along with Setting up blog tours, interviews…all while trying to maintain a clean house and fed relationship.


My writing has bEen in such a state since before L’Don dIed that, I questioned everything. Now? I have an end goal. I’m pushing for VocaTional Rehab to help me gO back into information technology – the thing I did before I decided to become a professionally published authoR. I made money from day one but the last few years?

Yeah, the game has changed. I understand it now. I need to do this, go back to IT. Work that 40 hour week, stack them bills. Keep expenses low, indulge occasionally, but stack them bills. It’s a temporary position because I want my freedom and you deserve me having said freedom to publish the books I promised you, because once I bought the lie but now I sell the truth. Hope. A two-year stint in IT will give me that. The point is, I have a plan. Everyone will win because that’s the Wolf Move.

Right now? Back office work to ready releases for next year. I’m developing a team – editor, cover artist. I’m deciding if I need to get back to being relevant on social media so when the plates drop, they drop like it’s hot. Oven-baked lime and panko-crusted chicken in the oven, Chinese greens readied, I did the mise-en-place beforehand so I could write this post and sell you my truth. Now? Sip this glass of Vinho Verde with the Younger beautiful Lover and wait until the chicken is done and crispy. Tomorrow? Reflect, and get busy because I’ve got shit to do.

How you doin, boo?

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Wrists, bASS and Writing!

Yesterday’s adventures with doctors…

Yes, I can slapp the bASS very well, though I tend to play more progressive metal!

For the last 20 years, my wrists and sometimes feet, have gone numb when I lie down on my back for a cat nap. In the last few years, it’s been my hands at night on too many occasions. My last neurologist appointment was in 2012 and she told me at best, carpal tunnel on the bilateral. She’d said at best without surgery, to take B6. So, when I’d have this problem, I realized it was a b6 issue and I’d wake up, pop a pill or two and go back to sleep.


At the time, basic bitch vitamins (Kroger brand) were what I took and they worked, but not all vitamins are created equal. What really throws me is the way I eat should make this irrelevant. Ever since Lovers have done Wildfit, and even before that, I’ve eaten clean, gotten plenty of veg (I know some of you read it differently heh heh heh.) I started experimenting with different dark leafy greens, adding the aklagizer in my system daily and still, this problem persists.

The new neurologist basically confirmed yup. bilateral carpal tunnel and is having me do a blood lab for B12. Getting stuck in that muscle by the thumb fucking HURT! As if the nerve conductor test wasn’t bad enough.

And I’d like to finish this novel by end of the year at least since Nov expiration is this Friday and even I can’t write 60,000 words in what? Three days? I tried years ago LOL!

I need to text a friend of mine, that bASS in the pic above? It’s in California and I want it back.

Oh, and I get wrist braces – hopefully MedicAID will cover those. I have a prescription even!

And writer plans have been made for 2021. I spent a lot of time with my older Beauty talking this over for next year. Her reminders helped a LOT. I have a LOT I can release and a LOT I need to do for the next year so I definitely need my head back in the game, unlike the last two years. I MISS running that hard. And I will not go down quietly.

Writer plans include the following:

I have the Undead Souls books – 2 and 3 need editors and cover art.
Hot Knight needs an editor and cover art – for L’Don.

Permission for Pleasure needs an editor and cover art and a beta for the BDSM. For L’Don. Both her books turned out to be romantic suspense, and they’re kinkier than I”ve written in a few years ;).

Plus, I need to email Tastyworks (The Bat and Sosnoff most likely) for a better investor plot that can be thwarted in the Options world. Not quite the Options trader book I planned but…

I need to finish Crossing the Rubicon, then it and Stalker need editors, and I need to write the third book in that series.

I need to rattle cages at RWA for teaching more next year.

I need to create the books for my BDSM class and Male POV class.

Blurbs for Opeth Pack need updating and I need to add them to categories on Amazon.
Fuck it, I need all my short stories back from Wolfpack and two of the shorts may be lengthened. PNR vampire with some BDSM in the first short. You’re welcome, Kathy!

The Mafia/Illuminati Para-Rom needs a complete rewrite and I need two serious beta readers for the two books written and then to plot out the last four.

My FMA/Boardwalk Empire novel needs to be written.

Saint in Sinner’s Eyes – A spy protecting shapeshifters. A rogue operative targeting a high profile crime boss. When worlds collide, will either escape with their life in tact?

Oh, and I need to ask Maya what she thinks about A Christmas Favor – because I need to cover that ASAP and get it out for the rush…


What are you running head first into?


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Upcoming Interview

I was interviewed for a podcast (air date TBA) a few days ago by an author who has less time in the industry (far as I know) than I do, and some of the questions she’d asked were awesome because I was able to take a trip down memory lane.How many of you know that Sizzler Editions actually launched BEFORE Ellora’s Cave? Or that E-books didn’t come from AMZN, B&N online etc?

It was a cool thing to recall what got me started, what kept me motivated during the early days of romance publishing. Of course, I got asked about an author we have feelings about, regarding her portrayal of BDSM, and being able to mention a few of the classic authors on the podcast. It allowed me to bring up a few references to authors I used to edit and credit them with what I’d hoped were budding careers.But this was really about me LOL!

We’d discussed some of the “what made you go into romance, you suave, handsome, debonair Alpha of a male”That answer changes the more I dig. Because I’d had that…let’s call it a hiatus, back in 2018, and had asked many of you for reasons as to why I should continue, (thank you all for that) it was once again nice to be reminded that even though 2020 has only been good for my investor P/L, I can still finish TWO novels this year.

I was able to give a basic history of the industry, talk about authors of mine like Margie Church who I believe did a fantastic job of writing not only poly, but BDSM without being in the Scene. I think I mentioned Shakir, can’t remember. There were a lot of things to cover in the interview.

It reminded me of reasons why I’m putting so much time into Amazon Ads (which are slowly but surely working) and why I’m not worrying so much about an afternoon routine right now, outside of watching markets. And this interviewer did her homework, but probably missed out on the hiatus. The growth in the industry has forced me to strip down all the bullshit of my writing processes, rid myself of the military precision I used in said process, and get back to basics, with some help from My Two Loved Ones. Remembering where I came from has allowed me to dig a path that’s much slower than I’m used to. Maybe in the new year, I’ll move slow enough to move even faster.When I get the link to the interview, I’ll post it, along with a shoutout to the awesome moderator!

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Productive day

The dishes are being done now in the dishwasher, carpet is vacuumed, bathroom is acceptable to both girlfriends and the kitchen smells of Hungarian goulash. Sheets are clean thanks to my beautiful younger lover running point while I spent the entire day catching up on $AMZN ads class material since missing two days last week and man, shit is brutal! My eyes lol! But the results I have out now will give me some context to my career that was missing back in 2018.

Even more results with more ads, but the work is not for the mentally weak.  Even once you learn the simplified version of ad iteration, it’s still work because you’re changing, growing and watching, all while collecting data.  Everyone thinks writing the novel is the hardest part.  I’d argue that’s easy.  Yes, you have plots to keep in line, characters to form, worlds to build possibly, and if you’re lucky, the occasional “Fuck me, I wrote that?”  moment.  The one where you realize that what you did there was absolutely brilliant and you HOPE your readers get it.  That takes a lot of authors no more than 2-3 months, depending on size of the novel.  It takes me usually about two months to write 65-80k.  And the novel I started last week, I had planned to have finished by end of August.

That shit won’t happen.  Thank you education and enhancements, because I have a chance now to not only level up my career, but my more immediate sales because of the Amazon Ads class.  I have a few titles I’m re-uploading since taking possession of them from City Lights.

Marketing however, has been the tripping point.  When I released Slow Burn through City Lights, I spent money on various advertisers and while that did generate a return, that return simply implied my book had been seen and rank went down.  It resonated with NO ONE as far as sales were concerned.  And I have been in the position the last several years where I need money spent to return two fold at LEAST.

In the past, I felt kind of powerless with little money to spend on books I believed in, let alone the material I was writing or that had sold really well under someone else’s (ILVN) marketing and ad spend, which meant I had to rely on the old story. I must be a shit author.

I know better.

Since day one.  Not discounting luck, but I have sold from DAY ONE.

Didn’t change the internal story. Ya’ll may remember the great Stay in Bed cause fuck you and why should I continue writing of 2018…Not until Dec of 2018 when Oldest GF and I began plotting out the following year did I even get hyped again about my career, and that includes finishing the second Mafia/Illuminati para-rom. That series needs more world building.

If the story looks familiar, it is. The intro has been changed.

The older gf nudging me into the Skye Warren’s FB Intensive and Amazon Ad Profit Five Day Challenge and the younger one supporting me this year really makes a difference. I have some context around HOW to market these books. I’ve told my authors in the past that sometimes, it’s difficult to find them, but there are readers for your novels. I stand by it.

I’m now running twenty-three ads on $AMZN and I have ten plus more planned out tomorrow once I rewrite a hook for The Bodyguard.

And I signed up for the mid-level Amazon Ad Profit course because last week I committed to Marisa Peer’s Rapid Transformational Hypnotherapy class on Abundance. Yes, I AM getting one more week of the PLUA TrumpBucks, but that money has gone into savings, gotten me ahead on bills and made me a little happy lettuce in $EWZ, $UAL and a few other underlyings, but not enough to really make a dent.

My head has been a shit show in the past, I’ve made no bones about that.  Starting Marisa’s course today, and doing the lessons daily for the next thirty-five days will help my head.

The FB ads, and Amazon Ads will help my bottom line.  And in that, I can continue to do what I’ve recently come to understand is my one job as a romance author – Sell you HOPE in this currently amazing shit show of a world, so that you can find YOUR happiness and get what YOUR heart yearns for.

Zig was right.  Buy the product and use it, then you can sell it.

I’m happy with the day’s productivity, but now it’s time for a cigar – La Galena Maduro. And you betcha I have a drink in hand. Enjoy your day. And take two seconds to think of two things you are grateful for.

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